from facebook-menelik charles
Black women: matriarchy’s blind, deaf and dumb victims...
Most post-slavery Caribbean and African-Americans come from a long line
of females they had to appease: mothers, grandmothers’ aunts etc. These
women were also (in theory) protectors and (often grudgingly)
providers. This matriarchy has its roots in a uniquely sadistic white
supremacy, and slavery. But why do so few Black people want to explore
this connection?
The reason is that Black mothers are treated
like Goddesses, and thus are accountable to no one. Every problem,
therefore, with roots in matriarchal behavior is carefully directed away
from the mother towards other individuals and institutions...e.g.
absent Black fathers; momma’s pedophile boyfriends; the public school
system; the ‘racist’ police: any individual or institution linked to
patriarchal authority. And yet patriarchy (male rule) is virtually
none-existent in Caribbean and African-American families. Indeed, the
abolition of slavery left a power vacuum which was largely filled by
women who took custody of the white masters’ property: the children.
Thus, the clues to Black women’s present issues in intimate
relationships, and with self-esteem, have a matriarchal lineage.
Consider the following: the ‘mother tongue’ the Black mother teaches her
young is the tongue of her oppressor; the white Jesus to whom she
submits is in the image of her ancestral rapist; the objects with which
she bruises her children’s flesh is a re-enactment of the behavior of
brutal overseers; and the cruel curses she heaps upon the dark skins and
‘bad hair’ of her daughters is homage to the idealized status of white
women in slave society. So my question is this: if the most common
signifiers of Black identity (European names, languages, religion etc)
points to the identity of another people, then from whom does our
behavior derive?
What we have here are a group of females so
traumatized by a past they have no memory of, and yet are still able to
transmit these traumas to future generations. But other manifestations
of generational trauma also have a direct impact on Black females’
future psycho-social development as women, partners and as mothers.
Heterosexual lesbians
The post-slavery matriarchal family has created masses of women I call
heterosexual lesbians i.e. women whose psychological dispositions are
better suited to lesbian relationships (with domestic violence as its
basis) than relationships with family-oriented men. Below are two
highly generalised examples of relationships between Caribbean and
African-American mothers and daughters.
1) The
aggressively-overbearing matriarchal mother...wages all-out war on her
daughter throughout her childhood and teen-years. Here the mother
actively seeks to sabotage her daughter’s strivings towards freedom and
independence. Thus, her every step in this direction is treated as a
virtual slave uprising. The daughter exists as a hostage in a home
dominated by maternal resentment and revenge rather than love and
protection. In later years, the daughter’s relationships will be guided
by an expectation that others are out to dominate and subjugate her; and
that her true self (originally oppressed by her mother) will be
rejected if fulfilment of her needs is sought. It’s from these
daughters we find our ‘strong, independent’ Black women....who ‘don’t
need no man’.
2) The passive-aggressive matriarchal
mother...attacks her daughter’s integrity by way of callous
indifference...like a lioness leaving her cubs in the company of
hyenas... or a mother inviting men to take pictures of her
pre-adolescent daughter in sexualized poses. The objective here is to
groom the daughter to assume a ‘victim identity’ in her future intimate
relationships. And because of the passive-aggressive nature of the
neglect, the mother gets very little, if any, overt resistance from her
unsuspecting daughter. These daughters are different from the butch
heterosexual lesbians represented by the ‘strong’ Black woman...they’re
more akin to Chocolate Cinderellas...highly feminine (because the nature
of the matriarchal attacks were less direct and aggressive) but
nevertheless critically wounded, and therefore drawn to intimate
relationships in which they’re manipulated, misunderstood and
marginalized.
Do unto others as mother did unto you
But
where the daughter-victim in the first example learns to defend her
fragile identity by ferociously attacking the opinions of others; always
taking things personally; always being right; always having the last
word, and generally possessing an attitude so unnerving as to make her
unsuitable for long-term heterosexual relationships (unless with males
who know their place in the matriarchal order), the daughter-victim in
the second example is an entirely different proposition. She’s an expert
in the art of passive-aggression. But she doesn’t seek to use this
skill to protect herself against people who seek to exploit her (she was
always taught to please such people). But only against those who don’t
seek to exploit her.
Here her ‘victim identity’ will be
projected onto anyone who treats her with kindness (a dangerous trait to
possess since it has always been taken advantage of). First she will
nicely and passively frustrate her suitor...then demoralize him...and
finally, put him off altogether. This behavior would indicate that the
person perceives herself as unworthy of love or protection. She must
pursue love not be given it. Thus, any attempt to place a proverbial
glass slipper on this Chocolate Cinderella’s foot will result in her
smashing it.
The matriarchal Illuminati
The point of the
two examples above was to show how the primary objective of
slavery-descended matriarchy is to ritualistically defemininize,
antagonize, frustrate, and humiliate (often racially) girl children in a
prolonged effort to initiate them into the matriarchal order. This
induction is only finalized after the daughter has incurred years of
humiliating defeat during childhood and adolescence. By which time, she
has sub-consciously submitted to her matriarchal aggressor and, over
time, begins to behave just like.
This tragedy is compounded by
the fact that there are often fathers, stepfathers or long-term
boyfriends, present when all this is occurring. Sometimes these men are
allied with the mothers against the beleaguered daughters. But typically
they are matriarchally-raised manginas who were mostly silent
observers. But the point to keep in mind here is that the defensive
armour used by the hard-to-get-along-with contemporary Black woman was
not originally erected to protect themselves against ‘no good n*ggers’
but against their very own mothers.
So what is the solution to
this perverse by-product of our enslavement? What I would suggest is
needed to resolve this matter is a sort of therapy for the masses. This
‘therapy’ will necessarily involve theory and practice; courage and
commitment; strength and sensitivity; action and accountability. But
let’s be clear about one thing: slave-centric matriarchy must be
overthrown if we are ever again to have an African Renaissance in the
de-Africanized societies of the Caribbean, and in the chaotic
communities of Black America.
Caribbean and African-American men
owe malevolent matriarchy nothing but their commitment to be rid of it.
And more especially, they owe their daughters a commitment to stand as
kings, walk like panthers, and be utterly devoted to protecting them
from inappropriate maternal intrusion. We must protect and defend them
in honor of the ancestral females our forefathers were unable to
protect. It will not be easy. The truth is we carry the blueprint of
bucks and breeders in our psychological make-up. This heritage...this
human horror story...is what's transmitted via the untreated trauma of
Black women to future generations.
The ghost of slavery is everywhere.
So for all the above to occur, we must first confront Black women’s
ancestral pain, and then...over time... arrange the peaceful transfer of
family control into steady patriarchal hands. To this end, Black women
will not be required to be Black men’s ‘bottom bitches’ but rather their
supportive, loving, and equal, partners. It sounds like a good deal to
me.
What do you think?
(c) Menelik Charles.
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