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Menelik Charles with Hondo Solomon and 3 others.
Black women: matriarchy’s blind, deaf and dumb victims...
Most post-slavery Caribbean and African-Americans come from a long line of females they had to appease: mothers, grandmothers’ aunts etc. These women were also (in theory) protectors and (often grudgingly) providers. This matriarchy has its roots in a uniquely sadistic white supremacy, and slavery. But why do so few Black people want to explore this connection?
The reason is that Black mothers are treated like Goddesses, and thus are accountable to no one. Every problem, therefore, with roots in matriarchal behavior is carefully directed away from the mother towards other individuals and institutions...e.g. absent Black fathers; momma’s pedophile boyfriends; the public school system; the ‘racist’ police: any individual or institution linked to patriarchal authority. And yet patriarchy (male rule) is virtually none-existent in Caribbean and African-American families. Indeed, the abolition of slavery left a power vacuum which was largely filled by women who took custody of the white masters’ property: the children.
Thus, the clues to Black women’s present issues in intimate relationships, and with self-esteem, have a matriarchal lineage. Consider the following: the ‘mother tongue’ the Black mother teaches her young is the tongue of her oppressor; the white Jesus to whom she submits is in the image of her ancestral rapist; the objects with which she bruises her children’s flesh is a re-enactment of the behavior of brutal overseers; and the cruel curses she heaps upon the dark skins and ‘bad hair’ of her daughters is homage to the idealized status of white women in slave society. So my question is this: if the most common signifiers of Black identity (European names, languages, religion etc) points to the identity of another people, then from whom does our behavior derive?
What we have here are a group of females so traumatized by a past they have no memory of, and yet are still able to transmit these traumas to future generations. But other manifestations of generational trauma also have a direct impact on Black females’ future psycho-social development as women, partners and as mothers.
Heterosexual lesbians
The post-slavery matriarchal family has created masses of women I call heterosexual lesbians i.e. women whose psychological dispositions are better suited to lesbian relationships (with domestic violence as its basis) than relationships with family-oriented men. Below are two highly generalised examples of relationships between Caribbean and African-American mothers and daughters.
1) The aggressively-overbearing matriarchal mother...wages all-out war on her daughter throughout her childhood and teen-years. Here the mother actively seeks to sabotage her daughter’s strivings towards freedom and independence. Thus, her every step in this direction is treated as a virtual slave uprising. The daughter exists as a hostage in a home dominated by maternal resentment and revenge rather than love and protection. In later years, the daughter’s relationships will be guided by an expectation that others are out to dominate and subjugate her; and that her true self (originally oppressed by her mother) will be rejected if fulfilment of her needs is sought. It’s from these daughters we find our ‘strong, independent’ Black women....who ‘don’t need no man’.
2) The passive-aggressive matriarchal mother...attacks her daughter’s integrity by way of callous indifference...like a lioness leaving her cubs in the company of hyenas... or a mother inviting men to take pictures of her pre-adolescent daughter in sexualized poses. The objective here is to groom the daughter to assume a ‘victim identity’ in her future intimate relationships. And because of the passive-aggressive nature of the neglect, the mother gets very little, if any, overt resistance from her unsuspecting daughter. These daughters are different from the butch heterosexual lesbians represented by the ‘strong’ Black woman...they’re more akin to Chocolate Cinderellas...highly feminine (because the nature of the matriarchal attacks were less direct and aggressive) but nevertheless critically wounded, and therefore drawn to intimate relationships in which they’re manipulated, misunderstood and marginalized.
Do unto others as mother did unto you
But where the daughter-victim in the first example learns to defend her fragile identity by ferociously attacking the opinions of others; always taking things personally; always being right; always having the last word, and generally possessing an attitude so unnerving as to make her unsuitable for long-term heterosexual relationships (unless with males who know their place in the matriarchal order), the daughter-victim in the second example is an entirely different proposition. She’s an expert in the art of passive-aggression. But she doesn’t seek to use this skill to protect herself against people who seek to exploit her (she was always taught to please such people). But only against those who don’t seek to exploit her.
Here her ‘victim identity’ will be projected onto anyone who treats her with kindness (a dangerous trait to possess since it has always been taken advantage of). First she will nicely and passively frustrate her suitor...then demoralize him...and finally, put him off altogether. This behavior would indicate that the person perceives herself as unworthy of love or protection. She must pursue love not be given it. Thus, any attempt to place a proverbial glass slipper on this Chocolate Cinderella’s foot will result in her smashing it.
The matriarchal Illuminati
The point of the two examples above was to show how the primary objective of slavery-descended matriarchy is to ritualistically defemininize, antagonize, frustrate, and humiliate (often racially) girl children in a prolonged effort to initiate them into the matriarchal order. This induction is only finalized after the daughter has incurred years of humiliating defeat during childhood and adolescence. By which time, she has sub-consciously submitted to her matriarchal aggressor and, over time, begins to behave just like.
This tragedy is compounded by the fact that there are often fathers, stepfathers or long-term boyfriends, present when all this is occurring. Sometimes these men are allied with the mothers against the beleaguered daughters. But typically they are matriarchally-raised manginas who were mostly silent observers. But the point to keep in mind here is that the defensive armour used by the hard-to-get-along-with contemporary Black woman was not originally erected to protect themselves against ‘no good n*ggers’ but against their very own mothers.
So what is the solution to this perverse by-product of our enslavement? What I would suggest is needed to resolve this matter is a sort of therapy for the masses. This ‘therapy’ will necessarily involve theory and practice; courage and commitment; strength and sensitivity; action and accountability. But let’s be clear about one thing: slave-centric matriarchy must be overthrown if we are ever again to have an African Renaissance in the de-Africanized societies of the Caribbean, and in the chaotic communities of Black America.
Caribbean and African-American men owe malevolent matriarchy nothing but their commitment to be rid of it. And more especially, they owe their daughters a commitment to stand as kings, walk like panthers, and be utterly devoted to protecting them from inappropriate maternal intrusion. We must protect and defend them in honor of the ancestral females our forefathers were unable to protect. It will not be easy. The truth is we carry the blueprint of bucks and breeders in our psychological make-up. This heritage...this human horror story...is what's transmitted via the untreated trauma of Black women to future generations.
The ghost of slavery is everywhere.
So for all the above to occur, we must first confront Black women’s ancestral pain, and then...over time... arrange the peaceful transfer of family control into steady patriarchal hands. To this end, Black women will not be required to be Black men’s ‘bottom bitches’ but rather their supportive, loving, and equal, partners. It sounds like a good deal to me.
What do you think?
(c) Menelik Charles.
Most post-slavery Caribbean and African-Americans come from a long line of females they had to appease: mothers, grandmothers’ aunts etc. These women were also (in theory) protectors and (often grudgingly) providers. This matriarchy has its roots in a uniquely sadistic white supremacy, and slavery. But why do so few Black people want to explore this connection?
The reason is that Black mothers are treated like Goddesses, and thus are accountable to no one. Every problem, therefore, with roots in matriarchal behavior is carefully directed away from the mother towards other individuals and institutions...e.g. absent Black fathers; momma’s pedophile boyfriends; the public school system; the ‘racist’ police: any individual or institution linked to patriarchal authority. And yet patriarchy (male rule) is virtually none-existent in Caribbean and African-American families. Indeed, the abolition of slavery left a power vacuum which was largely filled by women who took custody of the white masters’ property: the children.
Thus, the clues to Black women’s present issues in intimate relationships, and with self-esteem, have a matriarchal lineage. Consider the following: the ‘mother tongue’ the Black mother teaches her young is the tongue of her oppressor; the white Jesus to whom she submits is in the image of her ancestral rapist; the objects with which she bruises her children’s flesh is a re-enactment of the behavior of brutal overseers; and the cruel curses she heaps upon the dark skins and ‘bad hair’ of her daughters is homage to the idealized status of white women in slave society. So my question is this: if the most common signifiers of Black identity (European names, languages, religion etc) points to the identity of another people, then from whom does our behavior derive?
What we have here are a group of females so traumatized by a past they have no memory of, and yet are still able to transmit these traumas to future generations. But other manifestations of generational trauma also have a direct impact on Black females’ future psycho-social development as women, partners and as mothers.
Heterosexual lesbians
The post-slavery matriarchal family has created masses of women I call heterosexual lesbians i.e. women whose psychological dispositions are better suited to lesbian relationships (with domestic violence as its basis) than relationships with family-oriented men. Below are two highly generalised examples of relationships between Caribbean and African-American mothers and daughters.
1) The aggressively-overbearing matriarchal mother...wages all-out war on her daughter throughout her childhood and teen-years. Here the mother actively seeks to sabotage her daughter’s strivings towards freedom and independence. Thus, her every step in this direction is treated as a virtual slave uprising. The daughter exists as a hostage in a home dominated by maternal resentment and revenge rather than love and protection. In later years, the daughter’s relationships will be guided by an expectation that others are out to dominate and subjugate her; and that her true self (originally oppressed by her mother) will be rejected if fulfilment of her needs is sought. It’s from these daughters we find our ‘strong, independent’ Black women....who ‘don’t need no man’.
2) The passive-aggressive matriarchal mother...attacks her daughter’s integrity by way of callous indifference...like a lioness leaving her cubs in the company of hyenas... or a mother inviting men to take pictures of her pre-adolescent daughter in sexualized poses. The objective here is to groom the daughter to assume a ‘victim identity’ in her future intimate relationships. And because of the passive-aggressive nature of the neglect, the mother gets very little, if any, overt resistance from her unsuspecting daughter. These daughters are different from the butch heterosexual lesbians represented by the ‘strong’ Black woman...they’re more akin to Chocolate Cinderellas...highly feminine (because the nature of the matriarchal attacks were less direct and aggressive) but nevertheless critically wounded, and therefore drawn to intimate relationships in which they’re manipulated, misunderstood and marginalized.
Do unto others as mother did unto you
But where the daughter-victim in the first example learns to defend her fragile identity by ferociously attacking the opinions of others; always taking things personally; always being right; always having the last word, and generally possessing an attitude so unnerving as to make her unsuitable for long-term heterosexual relationships (unless with males who know their place in the matriarchal order), the daughter-victim in the second example is an entirely different proposition. She’s an expert in the art of passive-aggression. But she doesn’t seek to use this skill to protect herself against people who seek to exploit her (she was always taught to please such people). But only against those who don’t seek to exploit her.
Here her ‘victim identity’ will be projected onto anyone who treats her with kindness (a dangerous trait to possess since it has always been taken advantage of). First she will nicely and passively frustrate her suitor...then demoralize him...and finally, put him off altogether. This behavior would indicate that the person perceives herself as unworthy of love or protection. She must pursue love not be given it. Thus, any attempt to place a proverbial glass slipper on this Chocolate Cinderella’s foot will result in her smashing it.
The matriarchal Illuminati
The point of the two examples above was to show how the primary objective of slavery-descended matriarchy is to ritualistically defemininize, antagonize, frustrate, and humiliate (often racially) girl children in a prolonged effort to initiate them into the matriarchal order. This induction is only finalized after the daughter has incurred years of humiliating defeat during childhood and adolescence. By which time, she has sub-consciously submitted to her matriarchal aggressor and, over time, begins to behave just like.
This tragedy is compounded by the fact that there are often fathers, stepfathers or long-term boyfriends, present when all this is occurring. Sometimes these men are allied with the mothers against the beleaguered daughters. But typically they are matriarchally-raised manginas who were mostly silent observers. But the point to keep in mind here is that the defensive armour used by the hard-to-get-along-with contemporary Black woman was not originally erected to protect themselves against ‘no good n*ggers’ but against their very own mothers.
So what is the solution to this perverse by-product of our enslavement? What I would suggest is needed to resolve this matter is a sort of therapy for the masses. This ‘therapy’ will necessarily involve theory and practice; courage and commitment; strength and sensitivity; action and accountability. But let’s be clear about one thing: slave-centric matriarchy must be overthrown if we are ever again to have an African Renaissance in the de-Africanized societies of the Caribbean, and in the chaotic communities of Black America.
Caribbean and African-American men owe malevolent matriarchy nothing but their commitment to be rid of it. And more especially, they owe their daughters a commitment to stand as kings, walk like panthers, and be utterly devoted to protecting them from inappropriate maternal intrusion. We must protect and defend them in honor of the ancestral females our forefathers were unable to protect. It will not be easy. The truth is we carry the blueprint of bucks and breeders in our psychological make-up. This heritage...this human horror story...is what's transmitted via the untreated trauma of Black women to future generations.
The ghost of slavery is everywhere.
So for all the above to occur, we must first confront Black women’s ancestral pain, and then...over time... arrange the peaceful transfer of family control into steady patriarchal hands. To this end, Black women will not be required to be Black men’s ‘bottom bitches’ but rather their supportive, loving, and equal, partners. It sounds like a good deal to me.
What do you think?
(c) Menelik Charles.
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30 comments
Comments
Menelik Charles This
1000-word essay is a summary of a chapter in the book I was working on.
I know must of you won't find the time to read it but to those who
do...thanks smile emoticon Francia Messado....Author Cezanne Poetess....Adonis Maurice Ash...BlackEmpress368...Ramona B...See More
Melissa Moore I'm
now about to read it through, but funny enough, today, some how, the
spirit of the celebration of wombmanhood and warrior spirits are
definitely accompanying me. Lol. A lot of posts are circulating around
them in a jovial manner. Great, now to read. Lol.
Paulette Martinez Insightful
Amunet Eil I love you for this. Thanks
Melissa Moore You
are correct - The ghost of slavery IS everywhere and I understand the
perspective you draw, especially where as girls, we are limited with the
example our mothers lead us with. Poor mothers though, they, also
being victims of this slavery ghost, i...See More
Elizabeth Johnson Its absolute truth
Melissa Moore Oh, btw, I will DEFINITELY buy your book! Awesome content already. heart emoticon
Menelik Charles Thank you Melissa smile emoticon
Sereena Al Noor Meet too, you know tht though hun x
Jo Kloehn You
described the relationship between my mother and I perfectly in section
1. (I don't know how often I heard that tired feminist line growing
up..."a woman needs a man like a fish needs a bicycle.")
Definitely looking forward to the book!
Definitely looking forward to the book!
Menelik Charles Author Cezanne Poetess....this may interest you smile emoticon
Marshall Prince great
write up! but with most things, until people can save themselves they
can't save others...most....dont want to admit there is a
problem...especially very liberal folks...
Menelik Charles Systems that require overthrowing cannot save themselves. Systems are like organisms...they seek to maintain their status quo.
Sereena Al Noor With tht said Menelik what how does the transformation happen then, if it doesn't start with self?
Amun Maat Zulu Very interesting Menelik Charles.
Have tried to inarticulately express much of what you have written. The
lingering effects of slavery is still doing damage to the family
structure and expectations of Black folks. Sharing.
AK Warren Great
piece....just one point though....I'm not sure that Black folk have the
monopoly on Narcissistic and passive-aggressive mothers....Your
argument is that slavery and white supremacy has made dysfunctional
mothering more pervasive in our communities? I'm going to reread to make
my understanding of that part of the analysis more clear....Again,
thoughtful piece!
Symphony Lyricist I
humbly appreciate your writing if this article. Makes me think of the
phrase.... "A nation can not rise higher than its woman." Truly I have
said for years that we suffer emotionally from our ancestral lineage.
Your essay provided another perspective...See More
Yemina Ayla Yisraela Wow! 💯🏾
Ayoluwa Baina Check this out:
http://womboflight.com/.../the-rupture-of-the-mother.../
http://womboflight.com/.../the-rupture-of-the-mother.../
womboflight.com
Menelik Charles This is a very interesting article sister Ayoluwa....great
points as well. Of course, we both noticed it has a Euro-centric and
patriarchal context. Ours is slave-centric and matriarchal.
Nevertheless....worth reading smile emoticon
Nevertheless....worth reading smile emoticon
Leah Bayaka Men
who have witnessed and been involved in the same slavery conditions
also need healing before considering 'Patriarchy'. If women are
struggling with matriarchy, men would also struggle with patriarchy.
There would be many issues that would come into...See More
Menelik Charles So what is the solution to this perverse by-product of our enslavement?
What I would suggest is needed to resolve this matter is a sort of therapy for the masses. This ‘therapy’ will necessarily involve theory and practice; courage and commitment; strength and sensitivity; action and accountability....See More
What I would suggest is needed to resolve this matter is a sort of therapy for the masses. This ‘therapy’ will necessarily involve theory and practice; courage and commitment; strength and sensitivity; action and accountability....See More
Leah Bayaka Yes
collective healing rather than replacing one ill for another. I do not
believe in instituting anything foundation without wholistically healed
beings involved.
Menelik Charles Patriarchy
is not an inherent "ill". It is potentially a positive solution to the
anarchy evidently and daily caused by matriarchy. Just my opinion smile emoticon
Taj Alla excellent!
Henry Reid Great. Photo
Elizabeth Johnson This a painfully raw truth post! But my god it's the truth and needs to addressed and remedy
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